O perfil de shinygemma

How have I not walked the 100 yards further up the road to this place before?

It’s had a refurbishment since a lot of the reviews posted here so it’s worth noting it’s definitely going down more of a young people’s trendypub route than the old man’s boozer – but I was sold the moment I saw the poodle lamps. There’s a DJ on weekends, but not until after 10.

Staff are super-friendly and I can’t say a bad word about them. There are plenty of comfy seats, lots of light, a good drinks and food menu and it’s never too busy on a weekend afternoon so it’s great for a lazy afternoon’s boozing. There’s a nice outdoor seating area too. it’s small, but it’s on the side of the building so you don’t get too much smog from the high road, and there are heaters and a retractable awning which has been useful with all the recent rain.

Food is good too – quite pricey but no more than any of the other Balham pubs, and it’s decent quality. The pizzas are great, and I also like the burgers with American style fries and big pots of mayo and ketchup. The Sunday roast looked amazing so will definitely be trying that soon!

Went here on the weekend for a birthday as they've started doing Karaoke in conjunction with 'Brazen Monkey'. There's a karaoke room upstairs above the restaurant, and the current offer is that you can eat (any two courses) for £25 and then have 2 hours karaoke. Sounds to good to be true, right?

Yeah, it is.

First up, the food. The two stars are for this alone. I ordered mussels followed by tagliatelle amatriciana. Mussels were in a tomato / garlic type broth, which was nice. No real complaints. The tagliatelle was ok too. Cooked very well, and nicely seasoned, but the bacon lardons were full of gristle which I ended up spitting out into the (never cleared away) starter bowl. This may have been a fluke, but it didn't fill me with confidence.

Someone else ordered the duck and mashed potato. The mash was INSTANT. Seriously?

But all in all for the price, I had no major qualms with the food. It was OK. The big problems came in two areas: service and karaoke.

The service. Oh, where to begin. They were understaffed for a venue of such size, but they also didn't seem busy. Throughout our meal, the waiter gave the impression he felt he was doing us a favour by being there. Everything we asked got a flustered "Yes, yes, I'm doing it now..." and none of the staff seemed to know how to clear a table. My starter plate was still there while others in my party were eating their dessert. I've been a waitress, I know it's dull and badly paid and customers are annoying but I've never experienced such grumpy, begrudging service before. No smile at any point.

When we asked when we could go up to the karaoke (which was booked from 10) his gave us incredulous look, gestured upstairs and said "Yes but they have to LEAVE first!" We knew that, but wasn't it his job to chivvy them along? This was at five past ten. We eventually got up there at twenty past after loads of messing around over what part of the bill we should pay at that time. All this time it still felt like he was serving us incredibly begrudgingly.

Now onto the karaoke. This is hosted is in a 'room' upstairs above the second floor of the restaurant. There's a good sound system, two microphones and a HUGE song list, and once we got singing, it was really good fun. But I use the word 'room' tentatively - it's more of a walk-through between the kitchen and the restaurant, partitioned by a constantly open door and a curtain. As a result we had staff members walking through every five minutes the whole time.

The room's also not soundproofed in the slightest, so everyone in the restaurant below can hear you singing. This didn't bother me, but I bet it bothered anyone below us! The room also has wooden flooring. We ate downstairs before moving up, and when you have fifteen drunken blokes jumping up and down to Bon Jovi while you're eating, it basically sounds like a herd of elephants are trampling above your heads.

As far as I know this karaoke thing is new and I just don't think they've quite got it sorted yet. Perhaps it will improve in time. Right now it all feels disorganised and badly planned and the restaurant staff don't see to want to get involved in it all. It wouldn't surprise me if the staff were so crappy with us because they don't LIKE the idea of a restaurant turning into a cheap karaoke joint, so they're deliberately treating the karaoke clientelle badly because they resent them.

Whatever, I wouldn't recommend this place at all and left feeling really bad because it was a friend's birthday and it should have been fun all night, but ended up being a bit stressful in places. Thank heavens for a bit of comedy Savage Garden karaoke for getting things back on track!

I've had numerous takeaways (through hungry house) and eaten in at Gurkhas Diner and can't really fault it for something a little bit different to a mediocre Indian takeaway. The restaurant itself is very nicely done out, the staff are attentive if a little slow at times, and the general atmosphere is warm and welcoming. Takeaway wise, delivery's always been on time and the food piping hot - though I do only live five or ten minutes away.

The appetisers seem to have a lot in common with the far east. I always get the Momo Cha - steamed lamb dumplings with a sweet spiced sauce, which are really tasty, but there are also a lot of battered vegetable options which I imagine are similar to Japanese tempura, plus meat skewers, prawns and squid.

Then it's over to the curries and spiced mains. Apparently the Nepalese do lamb very well so I really should try that next time, until now i've stuck to chicken, like the dish in a 'secret' green sauce. I ate the whole thing and still couldn't work out if the green colouring came from peas, coriander, chilli or food colouring. I guess we'll never know.

My top pick so far is the Kukra, chicken with tomatoes, garlic and spices. Share a rice and have one of the speciality breads on the side - these are much more exciting than your usual naan-the-size-of-your-head and great for mopping up the sauce.

If you're eating at the restaurant, take a look at the dessert menu if only because it's very pretty and designed like a scroll. There are some good ice-cream flavours on offer which really surprised me - I recommend the cinnamon / apple one.

I feel bad not giving All Star Lanes the full five stars, because it's safe to say my night was definitely five star in terms of enjoyment - but I do feel the fives should be saved for absolutely perfect nights...and there is room to improve here.

Mostly, I would say it was the food that didn't quite live up to expectations. Like many other unimaginative folks on our Qype night out, I opted for the burger, with a chicken quesadilla for starter. Both were good, but not exceptional - we weren't asked how we'd like the burgers cooked, and the waitress didn't know what I meant when I asked for it "with the works" - maybe I've been watching too many American tv shows, but this is an American diner style establishment, and I thought I was getting in the mood. She clearly thought I was speaking gibberish.

This is not to say the staff were bad - they weren't. We we were looked after well, without any of the usual rushing, sighing and frustrated looks you often get at places like this when you're in a group of more than ten people. This goes for the bartender in the private room too - smiles, good service and good cocktails all round. And this from somone who had to put up with the dulcet tones of two dozen tipsy qypers. I'd be in the corner, holding my head in my hands, rocking from side to side yelling "make it stop."

I jest - never have I experienced karaoke with so many people who can actually sing.

The combo of bowling and karaoke is pretty much a dream night out for me, so no complaints there. The private room has two lanes, its own bar, a huge seating area and the karaoke machine / dancing area. This is a modern, Lucky Voice style karaoke system, not the scary japanese ones you find in some places. And the playlist is huge. We even found Charles & Eddie's 'Would I Lie To You' (sorry, everyone).

My only problem with the bowling is that the lane we were on clearly tilted to the left a bit - how else can you explain why my ball kept going into the gutter ;0)

I was another one lucky enough to be treated to a taster menu as part of a qype event, and I was definitely glad I put my name down. It was a lovely night of great food and great company in a really interesting setting.

The restaurant itself, as others have mentioned, does lack the intimacy you might expect from a members' club, but the high ceilings and light paintwork give it an airy, welcoming feel that makes you feel a little more like you won't be chucked out for, say, balancing a spoon on your nose (you know who you are...). This is a venue for business meetings where you need to impress rather than romantic dates, which makes sense given its history.

The food was hard to fault, from beautifully cooked orzo and seafood through to my favourite, the venison. Portions were small in a 'give us a Michelin star' way, but everything was cooked so well it was nice to savour what was there. I have always been wary of restaurants that put more effort into the presentation and 'trendiness' of a dish than the taste, but here they seem to have balanced the two well. There were plenty of unindentifiable reductions smeared artistically on plates - which to be honest is not my type of food - but they all tasted like they were there for a reason and I cleared my plate with every course. I would say that I thought one solitary scallop on a plate was particularly measly, but at that point I hadn't realised it was the first of half a dozen courses.

The wines we tried were well chosen to accompany each course - especially the red - but I think most will agree that the iced cider was the hit of the night. Apparently it's difficult to get hold of, so if you do visit, make sure you try some at the end of the meal, especially if you're getting something with apples or blackberries for dessert.

Service was generally good, with friendly and attentive staff, though I was inexplicably missed out of service at one point, and had to wait a while for my duck while everyone else had theirs. I'll put this down to teething problems, and it was rectified with many apologies as soon as someone noticed, so no harm done.

Cattlegrid is what Bodeans used to be before it got too big and corporate. Really good food at reasonable prices, served in a bustling restaurant by friendly staff. But this is a meat restaurant for meat fans - don't bring veggies, and bear in mind that there are no fancy things like desserts here - it's all about the cow.

The steaks are what the menu is created around they're pretty great. Pick your cut (there's a guide on the walls if you're unsure) and get it cooked to your taste. I like that they only come with a small portion of chips and some salad leaves, instead of a million and one trimmings. You can order all kinds of sides and extras if you want (boyfriend loves the haggis) but for me the steak is enough. As far as I'm concerned, once you've eaten half a cow, the last thing you want is a mountain of carbs to top it off.

Last time I went I wasn't really hungry enough to order steak, so I decided to give the pulled pork sandwich a go. In terms of portion size, this was possibly a mistake (it's basically a huge plate of meat) but I don't think I'll ever be having a steak again because this was too good - definitely the menu's hidden treasure!

This is definitely worth a visit if you crave steak on a budget (it's not dirt cheap but neither is it The Hawksmoor). Balham locals should keep their eye on their letterboxes for offers - we get loads through our door.

Balham does a good line in cavernous drinking establishments (The Bedford, The Exhibit) but the bbc is the one with the most character.

A maze of rooms full of mis-matched furniture, strange decor and ornaments and knick-knacks, it's got a really laid-back vibe and seems to attract a real mix of people.

As you'd expect, there are plenty of beers and ciders to choose from. Wine is served in a glass or a carafe (no 'small' and 'large' here) and is drinkable and then forgetable.

The food is not really my bag. Right now it's a a relatively pretentious take on English grub (no chips, it's all posh mash and glazed vegetable) and its quite expensive, though those famous sausage rolls are still available. I tried the Sunday lunch last Summer out in the back beer garden, and it was pretty decent - huge portions and loads of gravy which is always a winner. But generally, I'd say come here for relaxed drinks, not good grub.

Many thanks to Qype for inviting me along to the vodka tasting event here. Having heard great things of the art deco interior, 'press for champagne' buttons and famous burgers, I'd been itching to go for ages.

First up I have to comment on the decor. It's an art deco masterpiece, all green and amber glass, mirrors, mixed woods, dark romantic lighting and a touch of the members club. You'll know instantly if you love it or not - but rest assured there's nothing else like it in London.

Seated in the private dining area off from the diner-goes-glam main restaurant, we were greeted with the amazing rhubard gin and tonics (you MUST have one if you go) and then worked our way through a menu of various Russian style canapes to go with our vodkas. Some weren't really my kind of thing; I wasn't keen on the jellied ox tongue, salmon roe on quails eggs and goats cheese with beetroot. Others - scallops with black pudding (has someone been watching Masterchef?), salted cucumber and potted shrimp I enjoyed a lot more. The general rule seemed to be that salt ruled, because it works so well with the clean flavour of vodka. I oversalt everything so this didn't bother me, but bear it in mind if you don't like it!

Though the burger is - and probably will always be - the bestseller, I really recommend the meat Pelmeni, a kind of Russian take on the dumpling / dim sum. Served with sour cream and white vinegar, they were a huge hit with our group - perhaps because their dense stodginess soaked up the £15 a shot vodka we were tasting!

Puddings were also gorgeous - I went for chocolate fondant with pistachio ice cream, which was gorgeous. The salted caramel ice-cream seemed to be a winner too.

Described by my fellow diner as 'brilliant but a bit mental', Ozer is a great find.

We were there for dinner on a Friday night, so it was super-busy. We'd booked ahead, but it was clear they were overbooked - our table only ended up being a couple of minutes late, and we were given complimentary glasses of red wine to drink while we waited.

The staff were rushed off their feet but still managed to be attentive. Orders were taken quickly (there's a sign on the table telling you 'drinks in 2, starters in 5!). No sooner had I picked up my menu than someone was over with bread, olives and hummus.

The bread, by the way, is probably one of the best things on the whole menu. I could quite easily go for lunch and just graze on a basket of the stuff!

The menu is turkish fusion (mainly turkish but they'll do you a burger, and kid's tagines come with potato wedges) and generally very good. Calamari to start was cooked perfectly, and the spicy sausage was good to. We had the venison tagine and a spicy chicken dish for main. The chicken which was essentially a very tasty turkish tikka masala - I spent the whole meal trying to put my finger on what ingredient made it not taste like curry, but never worked it out.

The bustling atmosphere and down-to-earth approach would make this perfect for dinner with friends. There are loads of mezze dishes you could share. As a date location, it may be a bit busy on weekends - don't expect quiet, atmospheric candlelit romance. This is far more fun!

Michael Barnes ticked all the boxes. Despite being a 'fashion' salon, it was friendly and unpretentious, with staff who know what they're doing.

Brett (a technical director) cut my hair and did a really good job. No complaining when I said I wanted to keep the length, and no whining that I have a lot of thick hair that takes time to cut (I get this a lot). He was also loathe to cut in loads of layers - a change as usually people hack at my hair without my even asking them to! He kept me amused with constant chatter and I felt well looked after.

Of course, this central London salon comes with central London prices (around £50 for a cut and blow dry and £100 ish for highlights) but they do 40% off on the website for new customers. Definitely worth a go if you're in the area and want slightly more personal service than the trendy salons that get you in and out in 45 mins.